Here There and Everywhere

Easter is REALLY early this year. A friend sent me an e-mail explaining why:

Do you realize how early Easter is this year? As you may know
Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring
Equinox (which is March 20). This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar
that Hebrew people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around
on our Roman calendar.

Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but
that is pretty rare. Here’s the interesting info.

This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the
most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or
above!).

And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier! Here are the
facts:

1) The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228
(220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you’re 95
or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!)

2) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year
2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no
one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this
year!

OK, friends, just so you will know - this is HUMOR. A friend sent this in an e-mail, and after I stopped laughing, I decided to share it with you. Remember - if it is too good to be true, it probably isn’t true!

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA’S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, ‘You make me want to be a better person. ‘

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.