Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Training Joke #2

(Sometimes the setting changes, but the end is always the same.)

Two best buddies were camping in Alaska. Lifetime friends, they set aside a long weekend every year to hike in the wilderness.

On the last night, a bear breaks into the camp and is working his way into the tent. One man starts putting on his shoes, while the other shouts “There’s no time to put on shoes, you can’t outrun a bear!”

His friend looks at him and says “I don’t have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.”

January 11, 2007 Posted by | Alaska, Counter-terrorism, ExPat Life, Friends & Friendship, Joke, Kuwait, Political Issues | 4 Comments

Totally Weird Dream

I was looking out the (window?) of my building on the ice flow (it’s a dream, it doesn’t have to make sense) and I saw huge snakes roiling in the freezing water. I stepped outside to look, and could see it was hundreds of large squid/octopus in a boiling fury of activity. I heard a yowl of terror, and saw a gold cat actually on top of one, screeching, and I knew at the same time he was a goner and I couldn’t save him. I also knew I probably was in the wrong place, that I needed to be back inside, so I slowly turned back toward the door. I felt something cold on my hand. I turned back to see what it was, and it was a polar bear; the cold was his nose. All I could think was “unless I get a miracle, I am s**t-out-of-luck” and then I told myself to “breathe.” That’s always my cue to wake up. The dream was over.

Some of it makes sense. There was a report of huge long squids recently in the news, bigger than anyone dreamed existed. I have a gold cat, and I love gold cats. And I am terrified of bear. I grew up in Alaska, and was taught early on to watch out for bear. You can’t outrun a bear. And a bear will eat you just because he’s hungry. He won’t necessarily kill you first. It’s not a good way to go. There are many people in Alaska with ugly claw marks, they are a badge of honor.

They are the lucky ones. They survived.

January 11, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Alaska, Living Conditions, News, Pets, Random Musings | Leave a comment

January Projects

When our son and daughter-in-law were visiting, she was telling me our son has routines he adapts to insure he gets everything done. As she was telling me this, I was squirming in my chair. I am not exactly obsessive-compulsive, but because I could have a tendency to scatter my energies, I do the same thing, I have little routines I run to make sure that the important things get taken care of before I have fun.

One of these routines is to use January to get organized so that I can goof off the rest of the year. I try to get tax things in order, I try to make sure all the paperwork is filed or tossed . . . and I do photo albums for the preceding year, two albums if we went to Africa, which we have been doing nearly every year.

But last January I moved. And then, just about every other month, I was back in the States, either of a wedding or to see my parents. The albums never got done.

So yesterday, I gathered all the photos. Fortunately, I had kept them in different places, so they were not all mixed up. I have to do four albums. For the 2006 family album, I still need to get photos printed, and that alone takes time and organization. The other photos, I just needed to get in order. That took a whole day.

So this is for my friend – you know who you are – with twenty something years of photos she still hasn’t posted. I apologize! I apologize for all the times I told you how easy it is, and to just DO it. I am only one year behind, and already I can’t remember where this photo was taken, why that photo was taken, or what sequence these photos should be in. It is a daunting task, and I am only working on two years. I apologize again, dear friend, I grovel in mortification at my arrogance and lack of sympathy. God, in his mighty wisdon, has humbled me by showing me how fragile my memory is, and how unfounded my pride in organization. Aarrgh! Forgive me!

January 11, 2007 Posted by | Africa, Arts & Handicrafts, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Photos | 2 Comments