Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Washington Post Contest

This was sent to me by a good friend: These are entries to A Washington Post competition asking for a two line poem. The contest was to have the most romantic first line, and the least romantic second line.

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That’s why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you’re not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

But I only slept with you ‘cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other –

That is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;

But don’t take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face and your eyes –

Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe “Go to hell.’

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

February 21, 2007 - Posted by | Humor, Poetry/Literature, Relationships


  1. looooooooool
    i loved it!

    Comment by eshda3wa | February 21, 2007 | Reply

  2. fabulous!!
    lol, i loved it 😛
    poor wife, i feel sorry for her.

    Comment by nq | February 21, 2007 | Reply

  3. Eshda3wa + nq – The Washington Post runs some funny contests. We ought to make a Kuwaiti Haiku contest.

    Kuwait in springtime
    Warm sun, sweet breeze, lovely nights
    But oh! The traffic!

    Comment by intlxpatr | February 22, 2007 | Reply

  4. So sweet! Ha!

    Comment by Teena in Toronto | March 6, 2009 | Reply

  5. My humble contribution:

    “Your beauty and your grace inspires,
    I’d sell you but, alas,…no buyers.”

    Comment by snowbrother | April 17, 2011 | Reply

  6. Hilarious, snowbrother 🙂

    Comment by intlxpatr | April 17, 2011 | Reply

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