Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

U.S. Taxes, a Poem

None of the following is original. Many thanks to a dear friend who forwards me these gems from time to time. I have never seen this one before:

At first I thought this was funny…then I realized
the awful truth of it.
Be sure to read all the way to the end!

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he’s fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won’t be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He’s good and sore.

Then tax his coffin ,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he’s laid.

Put these words
Upon his tomb,
” Taxes drove me to my doom…”

When he’s gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax


Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,

And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest
middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to
raise the kids.

What the hell happened? Can you spell “politicians!”

And I still have to “press 1”

For English.

I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times

This last year, they changed the way they charge taxes to ex-pats. It has made a HUGE difference in the amounts we owe every year. We now owe more in taxes than we made in the early years of our marriage! Aaarrgh!

If we believe our taxes are truly working for the greater good, we don’t mind so much. Faced with the crumbling infrastructure in our country, we shouldn’t see things like the failure of the levees in Louisiana, the collapse of the bridge in Minnesota, the degradation of our clean water programs in many states as our infrastructure ages. We should, for the taxes we pay, have a world class medical program available for all citizens, but especially the oldest and the youngest, the most vulnerable citizens.

Those who talk the most about bringing God back into our politics are often the ones who complain the most about money wasted on immigrant programs, public health and safety programs, tax monies collected for schools, for rehabilitation programs. Jesus would weep in frustration.

August 9, 2007 - Posted by | Bureaucracy, Community, Cultural, ExPat Life, Health Issues, Living Conditions, Political Issues, Social Issues, Spiritual


  1. its always surprised me that the US doesnt have a “non-resident tax exemption” clause in their system. with the large number of us citizens that do work outside the benefits to the economy when they return would be huge.

    even india and the philippines have recognised the value of the expat dollar.

    if things were going to the right people for the right reasons i would happily pay my taxes, if i owed them, but the way things stand its pretty much like your average aid organisation,…. a massive chunk of every dollar goes to paying for the beaurocrats and government contractors, and a tiny amount actually gets back to where its meant to go.

    Comment by sknkwrkz | August 9, 2007 | Reply

  2. Mornin’ Skunk! There is a tax exclusion, but they changed the law dramatically in 2006, slid it through as an addendum to major legislation – now, after the exclusions, remaining monies are taxed as if the exclusion were a part of the whole.

    So for example, if you earned 100K, 82.5 is excluded from taxation. But the remainder is taxed at the RATE of the whole 100K. The US expat force took a beating on that one. *sigh*

    Comment by intlxpatr | August 9, 2007 | Reply

  3. Unfortunately, while the poem is cute… the rest of it is complete hogwash. Our nation has had National Debt since BEFORE it was a nation. We assumed millions of dollars in debt from the Revolutionary War.

    2nd… 100 years ago, we were not the most prosperous country in the world.

    and all those taxes? A quick search will reveal which ones were in existence and which were not. The first I checked on was the Liquor tax and it was indeed in place.

    100 years ago we didn’t have 2 cars, 2,000sqft homes, plasma TV’s, exotic Hawaiian vacations, or Gucci. If you remove the luxuries of today, you can replace it with the stay at home mom’s of yesterday.

    Comment by Dustin | December 18, 2007 | Reply

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