Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer


My friend KitKat is on a roll. She knows how much I love words and puns and groaners (jokes so bad they make you groan because you don’t see ’em coming). Thank you, KitKat!


1. A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

6. If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

7. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

8. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

9. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

10. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

11. He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

12. A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.

13. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

14. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

15. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

16. When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

17. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

18. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

19. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

20. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

September 29, 2007 - Posted by | Education, Humor, Joke, Language, Words


  1. lmfao @ no. 3 !



    Comment by sknkwrkz | September 29, 2007 | Reply

  2. You reminded me of university days & Lexicography courses! I love words

    Comment by chikapappi | September 29, 2007 | Reply

  3. I’m forwarding these to my sister. She’s a literature teacher! 🙂 She’ll love em for sure!

    Comment by N. | September 29, 2007 | Reply

  4. SKUNK! Glad I got a laugh out of you! My favorite is #10 – it’s a real groaner.

    Chikapappi – I KNEW there was something I liked about you! Words are amazing, aren’t they?

    N. Ahlen wa sahlen. My students (EFL) used to love these, because you have to think two (or more) different ways.

    Comment by intlxpatr | September 29, 2007 | Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: