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Expat wanderer

Mongolian Porn

Today as I was emptying my spam folder, I glanced through and saw that one encouraged us to visit a site specializing in Mongolian Porn.

Somehow, that totally cracks me up. Porn is pathetic and laughable enough as it is, but . . . Mongolian porn? I cannot imagine . . .

Maybe they yak a lot?

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May 27, 2010 Posted by | Humor, Mating Behavior, Social Issues, Spiritual, Women's Issues | 7 Comments

GMAC Rates American Drivers

This is an excerpt from Worst Drivers in America By State on AOL’s Wallet Pop:

GMAC’s sixth annual survey quizzed more than 5,200 licensed Americans from across the country on their driving knowledge and New York drivers fared the worst for the second year in a row, with an average score of 70 percent. That’s more than six percentage points below the national average score of 76.2 percent. New Jersey residents shouldn’t laugh too loudly at their neighbor’s expense. Garden State drivers finished second to last. Kansas, on the other hand, proved to be the best place to drive with a score of 82.3 percent. Oregon, South Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa and Nebraska drivers were also among the best performers on the survey.
Overall, though, the findings were pretty dismal. The study found that “nearly 1 in 5 licensed drivers — roughly 38 million Americans — would not pass a written drivers test exam if taken today.” A whopping 85 percent could not identify the correct action to take when approaching a steady yellow traffic light (hint: it involves the brake pedal). Many drivers also remained uncertain about safe following distances.

Nationally, the average score slipped from 76.2 percent from 76.6 percent. “When analyzed regionally, the results reveal that drivers in the Northeast may not be as road-rule savvy as their Midwestern counterparts,” according to GMAC’s press release. “The Northeast had the lowest average test scores (74.9 percent) and had the highest failure rate (25.1 percent). The Midwest region had the highest average test scores (77.5 percent) and the lowest failure rates (11.9 percent).”

Some other notable trends: Older drivers outperformed younger ones and men did better on the test than women but also flunked it at a higher rate. One-in-four drivers admitted that they did “distracting behaviors” such as selecting music on their iPhones, applying make-up or reading, though only 5 percent admitted to text-ing while driving.

(See full article from WalletPop: http://srph.it/ahqOZM)

2010 GMAC Insurance Driver’s Test Results

(Ranked in order of worst drivers by state to best drivers by state)
Scoring is from 1 to 100 on a 20 question test.

1. (WORST) New York – 70.0
2. New Jersey – 70.5
3. Dist. of Columbia – 71.9
4. California – 73.3
5. Rhode Island – 73.8
6. Louisiana – 74.1
7. West Virginia – 74.8
7. Hawaii – 74.8
9. New Hampshire – 74.9
9. Kentucky – 74.9
11. Florida – 75.2
12. Mississippi – 75.6
13. Pennsylvania – 75.8
13. Massachusetts – 75.8
15. North Carolina – 75.9
15. Arkansas – 75.9
17. Texas – 76.0
18. Connecticut – 76.3
19. Illinois – 76.6
20. Georgia – 76.7
21. Alabama – 77.1
22. South Carolina – 77.2
23. New Mexico – 77.3
24. Virginia – 77.5
24. Ohio – 77.5
26. Maine – 77.6
26. Delaware – 77.6
28. Colorado – 77.8
29. Utah- 77.9
30. Vermont – 78.1
30. Nevada – 78.1
32. Maryland – 78.2
33. Tennessee – 78.3
34. Wyoming – 78.4
35. Arizona – 78.5
36. Missouri – 78.8
37. Michigan – 79.0
38. North Dakota – 79.1
39. Oklahoma – 79.3
40. Wisconsin – 79.4
40. Washington – 79.4
42. Alaska – 79.8
43. Montana – 80.0
44. Idaho – 80.1
45. Indiana – 80.4
46. Nebraska – 80.5
47. Iowa – 80.8
48. Minnesota – 81.1
49. South Dakota – 81.2
50. Oregon – 82.1
51. (BEST) Kansas 82.3

See full article from WalletPop: http://srph.it/ahqOZM

Florida – where I am living now – is the 11th WORST state in the nation. . . .

May 27, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Cultural, ExPat Life, Florida, Law and Order, Living Conditions | 5 Comments

Puns Galore!

Thank you, Kit-Cat! Some of these are really, really BAD.

Puns for those with a Higher IQ
(That would be you and me, of course) 🙂

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted – ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

A pun is its own reword.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

May 27, 2010 Posted by | Humor | 5 Comments