Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

Idiot Awards 2009

After posting the story today about the suspect who tried to drown the police officer AND the police dog, I Googled “Idiot Awards 2009” and found these on the blog Daily Funny Jokes.

Idiot Number Six of 2009

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!” When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him This guy doesn’t need an award, he probably figured it out himself.

Number Five Idiot of 2009

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don’t believe you are over 21. The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn’t believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs an award!

Number Four Idiot of 2009

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The brick bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Oh, that’s smart. Give him his award.

Number Three Idiot of 2009

A true story out of San Francisco : A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America , walked into the branch and wrote “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo . After waiting a Few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.

She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the street told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left. He was Arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America .

Don’t bother with this guy’s award. He probably couldn’t read it anyway.

Number Two Idiot of 2009

Early this year, some airline employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed with the airline.

Here’s your award, guys. Don’t get it wet; the paint might run.

Number One Idiot of 2009

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here’s your award, lady. Wear it with pride.

I hope you find these as hilarious as I do, I laugh every time I think of the Wells Fargo bank teller telling the robber she can’t give him the money because the note is written on a Bank of American form, LLLLOOOOLLLLLLLL!

September 28, 2010 Posted by | Crime, Cultural, Humor | Leave a comment

Chase Ends with Suspect Trying to Drown Police and Police Dog

I loved reading the papers in Kuwait. What criminals could be so incredibly STUPID, I would wonder. (Here is my all time favorite Kuwait story.)

This morning, AdventureMan asked “Have you read the paper? Some guy had a high speed chase, then he tried to drown the policeman AND the policeman’s dog!”

No, I hadn’t read it. It is almost to stupid to be believed. What I do love is that the idiot is named in the Pensacola News Journal story and, of course, that his mother says he couldn’t have done it, LOL.

Chase Ends With Officer Fighting To Save His Life

Gulf Breeze Police Department Sgt. Stef Neff knows things can go bad in just a few seconds in his line of work.

That’s what happened in Gulf Breeze early Saturday morning when a traffic stop ended with Neff fighting for his life with a suspect in Hoffman Bayou.

“There is no lonelier feeling than that,” said Neff, a 15-year veteran who survived the fight without serious injuries. “I didn’t have any way to call anybody else. It was me and him.”

The suspect — Kyle Estes, 21, of Navarre — was eventually captured but it took more than an hour as he struggled in the water with two other officers and a police dog.

Estes remains in Santa Rosa County Jail today under $111,000 bond. He is facing a long list of charges related to Saturday’s fracas:

• Fleeing and eluding law enforcement officers.
• Obstruction of police.
• Aggravated battery.
• Resisting an officer.
• Driving while license is suspended or revoked.
• Hit and run.
• DUI with property damage.

The suspect’s mother hasn’t talked to him since the early morning battle, but she insists he is not violent by nature.

“It was totally out of character for Kyle to get violent like that,” Michelle Estes said today. “It was a very desperate and extreme attempt to get away from the police. I just think he didn’t want to get in trouble.”

The incident began when Gulf Breeze Police Officer Greg Baker tried to stop Estes at about 2 a.m. after seeing him speeding south on the Pensacola Bay bridge at about 95 mph, Neff said.

Baker followed Estes to Chanteclaire Circle, where Estes lost control of his vehicle and hit a cement wall, a mailbox and a tree, Neff said.

Estes jumped out the vehicle and ran. Neff and Gulf Breeze police officer Daylyn Wilson went to help Baker.

As Neff drove on Chanteclaire Circle, Estes ran by. Neff said he jumped out his vehicle, ran between some houses and pursued Estes to Hoffman Bayou.

Estes fell into the bayou from a rock embankment. Neff said Estes pulled him into the water.

“He tried to push me under the water,” Neff said. “He tried to drown me.”

Neff had no way to tell anyone where he was because his radio was disabled after being dunked in the water.

The Pensacola Police Department and Santa Rosa County Sheriff’s Office dispatched officers to help look for Neff.

Neff said he hit Estes in the head a few times with his flashlight as the two struggled in the water. He said Estes let him go after he hit him and started to swim across the bayou toward Laura Lane.

As Neff was coming out of the water, Wilson arrived. Neff told Wilson to head toward Laura Lane.

At first, Estes couldn’t be found after he swam away.

“He kind of hunkered down in some saw grass,” Neff said. “He just tried to wait us out.”

When Pensacola Police Officer Shawn Thompson made it to the area, he let his dog, Bandit, off his leash to search for Estes.

The dog found Estes hiding in the saw grass. Estes grabbed Bandit.

“Then he tried to drown the dog,” Neff said. “He was pulling the dog out into the bayou, holding him under the water.”

Thompson and Wilson jumped in to save Bandit. Estes started to swim away after taking some hits to the head with a flashlight, Neff said.

It wasn’t long before Estes was spotted under a pier. Neff and Santa Rosa County Sheriff’s Office Sgt. Judd White went into water and pulled Estes onto the pier.

None of the officers involved in the incident suffered serious injuries.

Estes was taken to Gulf Breeze Hospital, where he was treated for his injuries, and transported to jail.

Bandit was taken to a veterinarian.

“I think he’s doing fine now,” Pensacola Police Chief Chip Simmons said.

This story illustrates why police and fire crews and teachers and emergency room personnel are, to me, everyday heroes. Every day, they never know what might be out there to bite them.

September 28, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Bureaucracy, Community, Crime, Humor, Law and Order, Living Conditions, Pensacola, Social Issues, Work Related Issues | Leave a comment

Happy Baby at Siam Thai in Pensacola

Generally speaking, AdventureMan and I do not like buffets, especially in hot countries / towns, because food can spoil quickly. Also because children sometimes get into buffets, LOL, in Kuwait and in Qatar we would see children eating food right out of the buffet dishes, at places like the JW Marriott or the Ritz Carleton! That is enough to put anyone off eating at a buffet.

We have found one buffet in Pensacola, however, where we can feel good about going, the Siam Thai. There are two now, one more a bistro, located by WalMart, and the one we go to, we call it the Siam Thai Carwash because there is a car wash attached, and, this is hilarious, you can watch the cars go by as you are eating your lunch. I am not kidding, there are windows from the restaurant into the automatic car wash part.

The food is always fresh. The restaurant is always clean, immaculately clean. We even invited our son and his wife and the Happy Baby to join us for lunch, and oh what fun.

Our own son started with Chinese and Mexican food at six months, as we drove across the country in our Volksvagon Van, en route to the Naval Postgraduate School with our cat, Big Nick. We taught him early about rice, about spring rolls, and beans. So we thought we would give the Happy Baby a little start on Thai food. Oh, what fun.

Everything’s allowed, a spoon (he has yet to figure out which way is up), chopsticks (we feed him like a baby bird) or fingers.

The team at Siam Thai was so good to us; we asked for a very private table far from the buffet – when you have a baby, you know there is going to be a mess. The Happy Baby really knows how to behave in a restaurant; he is a baby who wants to be good, and with four adults to do his bidding – who wouldn’t be happy? 😉

The only thing he doesn’t like is having his face wiped, which, after any meal where a baby gets to work at feeding himself is a total necessity, LOL:

We love this place – the salad rolls, the soups, the fresh fresh curries and the condiments – it is a Pensacola Red R (Michelin gives a red R for good local cuisine at reasonable prices)

September 28, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Cultural, Customer Service, Eating Out, Entertainment, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Florida, Food, Living Conditions, Pensacola | 2 Comments